Toastie ‘97

4:30PM

Typing out a journal entry is not the most productive thing I could be doing right now, so I will try not to spend too much time doing so.

The ride down on Friday. We left at 12:30. I had to go a little out of the way to go to the airport in Greensboro to drop off this girl Leticia who had posted a desperate plea for a ride the night before. Leticia was really cool. She’s the only one who talked to me for that first hour, and she liked my Top 100. She left me an envelope when she left which I later discovered contained a very nice thank you card and $20.

Meanwhile, Drew and Rebecca did little talking. Rebecca basically slept in the back seat. Neither one commented on my music; neither one seemed to care about it one way or the other.

We stopped to eat around 2:30, and then we reached Charlotte around 3:30. We spent an hour with my dad. I saw my step-brother Jeff for the first time in years. We took a look at Dad’s new house, which is almost done. Drew and Rebecca seemed very disinterested in being with my Dad, and I couldn’t blame them.

Back on the road, I was so exhausted. After awhile, Drew eventually took over and completed the driving. I eventually slept a little bit. I knew I wouldn’t get to know Rebecca at all. The trip down wasn’t as interested as I expected or hoped it would be, but I’m glad someone else was with me to do some driving.

We arrived at Rebecca’s beautiful mid-town Atlanta apartment around 9:00. I got vague directions from both Rebecca and Larry, and after I left Rebecca’s at 9:30, it took me an hour to get to Emory because I got completely lost everywhere in Atlanta.

And the rest of my Emory tale so far. I was so exhausted when I got here, but I was too over-tired to fall asleep. So I was pretty wired for a couple of hours before I finally went to sleep. And then I didn’t really wake up until around 1:30 Saturday afternoon. And I really didn’t get out of bed until 5:30. I was so exhausted.

Larry had gone out briefly on Friday night. His friends on his hallway hung out in his room that night and all day Saturday. They always do, apparently, especially because Larry has a big TV.

I really shouldn’t go into detail about Larry’s friends, because I’m really not going to be seeing any of them anytime soon. They’re basically nice guys, although I thought some were a little stuck-up, but maybe they really aren’t- kind of like the guys from North Brunswick. I wasn’t hard to be friendly with them, and it gave me confidence that making the move to Lancaster won’t be so hard.

The fact that the guys in Larry’s dorm are up at 3AM made me realize that everyone in college stays up late, and so the only way I can really expect to get sleep is to have a single. Yeah, I’ve thought a lot about Trent vs. Lancaster this weekend, and I’ve pretty much convinced myself that I must make the move. Confronting my roommates and the result of that won’t figure into my decision. I talked to Mom Friday night, and she seems to accept what I will most likely have to do.

Anyway, Sunday, we all just watched the NFL all afternoon. Then Larry and his friend Graig and I went to the library, where I got some French work done. Then we went out to eat and then came back to the dorm.

Oh, back to Saturday night. The most important thing I did and will probably do this weekend happened Saturday night, and that’s that I went out to eat with Larry late that night, and we drove around a lot and just talked. I told him about everything that’s been going on with me, and he actually seemed a little understanding, which was nice. I also wasn’t so upset to hear about “the guys” from back home. The thought of a repeat of Wildwood at the Ocean Mist this coming summer seemed exciting, surprisingly enough. But I’m not saying I’ll miss going to the Thanksgiving football game in North Brunswick.

What else? The guys here played football last night at midnight. I can’t saying I really enjoyed it that much. I really should’ve just stayed at the dorm and tried to start my overdue UWC paper. But it wasn’t a depressing experience.

I’ve told Larry that I really like Emory a lot, and I certainly would not be miserable if I had wound up coming here. I must admit that a small part of me almost wished I was going to Emory, because the workload would be less, I’d be with Larry, I’d have friends, and I wouldn’t have the problems I have a Duke right now. But then again, I probably would. I still love Duke. Being at Emory has just made me see that it shouldn’t be that hard to be happy at Duke, though, especially if I move to West.

So I was exhausted again last night and this morning. Larry went to classes. I met him for lunch. Then I shaved my beard and went out and got myself a haircut, so I’m no longer looking like John Kruk. I had wanted to return to Duke looking cleaner, and I will now.

Larry will be back around 6:00, and we’ll go out to get his computer fixed and I don’t know what else. I need to get some sleep tonight. I hope to leave Atlanta around 10:00, we means I’ll need to get up early to pick up Rebecca and Drew.

I wish I had more time here at Emory. And I wish I had time to stay with Dad for a few days a relax away from colleges altogether. I’d like to think positively about going back to Duke and starting over, but I can’t know for sure if I can and will move until I go back.

Okay. Nice brief summary of things. I shall probably write again tomorrow night.

1:00AM

I am no longer so thrilled to be here at Emory. The charm has worn out, and now I can’t way to get out of here. But I can wait to go back to Duke.

First of all, I’ve tired of listening to Larry being Larry- just his general attitude towards things. I can’t explain what I mean. I don’t know if I’ve ever explained what I meant, but hopefully 4 1/2 years of journal writing can give some evidence of what I mean. Anyway, this attitude came through while we drove around Atlanta tonight, and it came through while he was on the phone with Whip before. The way he talks about drinking epitomizes this attitude. I just get angry thinking of how stupid it is that life should revolve for some around beer, and it seems to for Larry, Whip, most of “them”, and most college students. I frankly don’t get it though, and I guess I never will, and I don’t care to get it. I still wouldn’t mind a Wildwood II, but that would be one thing. Larry keeps asking me if I’m getting ID, and I keep telling him no, although I just don’t feel like getting angry and explaining why I don’t care to get one. It’s just not that important to me. (Great- I can put this little speech in my UWC culture journal.)

Anyway, the main thing that’s pissing me off now is that I can’t envision myself getting very much sleep. I’ll need to get up by 8:00 or so, and I’d like sufficient sleep. I’m sure I’ll get more than the 45 minutes I got Thursday night, but I’d like to get a lot more. But everyone is in Larry’s room playing Nintendo. The basic reason I must get a single is that it is part of college life for people to be up this late (1:00 really isn’t very late), but I need sleep every night. I can’t compromise with my roommates. (Changing subjects slightly), I talked to Mom tonight, and she talked to Bob Busby, and he told her that he’d like to see me work out my problems with my roommates without moving out.

And I never wrote my UWC paper this weekend. Anyway. I don’t look forward to the ride back to Duke tomorrow, because Rebecca and Drew aren’t much fun to ride with. Rebecca seemed very less-than-thrilled to have to talk to me tonight and give me directions to her apartment.

Maybe one good thing to keep in mind is that perhaps I won’t be so upset by my feelings for Susan anymore. But buying Meatloaf’s CD tonight didn’t help that maybe very much.

Okay. I’ve killed ten minutes typing here in this computer lab in Larry’s dorm. Surely the guys haven’t left. I don’t really have much else to write.